Lazy Luddite Log


Barnyard Bob Fast Food: A Comedy Sketch

Our scene opens in a franchise fast food restaurant by the name of 'Baryard Bob Family Restaurant'. It is late at night and there is just one customer in shot sitting at a table drinking coffee. We cannot see the face of the customer due to them reading a complimentary newspaper. Another customer comes into shot and walks to the counter. Behind the counter are three Barnyard Bob staff. The one on the right is a cow (or rather someone in a cow costume). The one in the middle is a pig (or rather someone in a pig costume). The one on the left is a chicken (or rather someone in a chicken costume). The customer looks at the menu on the wall behind them pondering what to order...

Pig: What would you like to order?

Customer: There is so much to choose from... hmmm...

Cow: I can recommend the Chicken Cheese & Bacon Burger!

Both the Chicken and the Pig look alarmed at this comment...

Chicken: Excuse me but you would enjoy the Beef Egg & Ham Burger far more!

Now the Cow and the Pig look alarmed...

Cow: That burger is stringy and overcooked! The Chicken Cheese & Bacon Burger on the other hand is a tasty quality dish and I can personally attest to how nice the cheese is!

Once more the Chicken and the Pig look distressed...

Chicken: What a lot of bulldust! That burger is undercooked and salmonella-ridden. But the Beef Egg & Ham Burger is a hearty and nourishing feast of a burger fit for a king. And let me tell you the eggs are to die for!

Once more the Cow and the Pig look distressed...

Customer: Look I've gone off both those burgers, what else can you recommend?

Pig: Well you will definitely enjoy our limited-time-only Lamb Souvlaki on a fresh-baked pita wrap!

All three staff smile hopefully at this...

Customer: That sounds good - give me one of those with chips and cola!

Just then the sitting customer lowers the newspaper and glares in shock at the others - we see that the sitting customer is in fact a sheep (or rather someone in a sheep costume). The scene fades to black...

Disclaimer: The sole purpose of this sketch is to amuse. Any use it may have as vegetarian propaganda is purely coincidental. The author is an omnivore.

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  • This was recently performed at a MonUCS rehearsal camp Saturday night revue as one of the many acts that night. I played the Sheep and I am grateful to Jess (customer), Alex (Chicken), David (Pig) and Kat (Cow) for bringing my sketch to life.

    By Blogger Daniel, At 02 December, 2008  

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