Apology Accepted

Some weeks ago an unusual thing happened to me but with moving I forgot to share it till now.

I got a message out-of-the-blue on Facebook from someone I went to secondary school with and had known nothing of for two decades. The message was very short and was simply saying sorry to me for having been mean to me back then. This was my response:

That was a long time ago and I barely ever think back to those days. If I recall rightly you had a very novel way of getting past me to your locker. I think it is funny now.

In adolescence we are still discovering how to relate to others and do lots of dumb things as a result. I came across as too aloof at school - thus attracting some nastiness - even if from my perspective I was just shy. I have improved my behavior since then as we all have.

Thank you for your message which I am most happy to accept. I hope all is well with you.

What was it she did to me to get to her locker? It started with her experimentally pinching my bum. For the fun of it? To see how I responded? Coz she could? I was an intensely reserved lower-secondary kid and very standoffish with the other sex in particular. My response was to jump a mile (or rather move some meters away from her). What started as a bit of fun for her turned into a way of accessing her stuff in the rush to get books once the bell had rung. I suppose it was a mild form of sexual harasment.

It was however - as I say - a long time ago. And long since then I have made a conscious effort to get over that and the other behaviours sent my way as a gangly nerd at school. I know that in some cases nerds take such experiences and project them on wider life thereby perceiving the world as divided between a persecuted nerdy minority and a persecuting jock majority. I was lucky to overcome such feelings and get on with life in a society I think has a lot worthwhile in it. And yet...

I was perky for days following that apology. I was feeling pretty good with things anyway but suddenly felt that bit better. I suppose it shows the power that saying sorry can have. And I hope it helped her too. She has evidently matured and become more compassionate (a common process as we get older). Maybe it just came to this moment over time. Maybe something specific triggered it (one thing I imagine is that she has a child who has entered school and is a bit nerdy). In any case I do appreciate getting that message.

Which brings me to another observation. Conveying a message like that is a difficult thing to do. How much more difficult would it have been if she had had to find me in the White Pages and get on the phone? Chances are it would never have happened. Here then is one instance of how the Internet can be a good thing. Modern communications does bring us closer together.

City From Suburbs

For ages now I have noticed how fantastic the city of Melbourne looks from particular vantages in its suburbs. So in my last week residing in Melbourne I decided to capture those vistas on film and went on a public transport adventure.

It was possibly one of the last sunny days for my hometown this side of winter. I knew that the view from the roadway over the station at Camberwell was impressive and likewise loved the view from a hill in Northcote. I noticed that both locations were seven stations from the City. I also knew I wanted a shot of the City from a bayside suburb. So using my own fuzzy methodology I went to the seventh station from the City on the Sandringham line. This took me to Elsterwick. But it is well inland. So I walked in what I hoped was a westerly direction till I hit beach – Elwood Beach to be precise. There I got the best photo.



It was a good day for a walk and so on the way back from the beach I took streets at random and somehow found myself in Saint Kilda. It was only then that I got back onto PT and made my way to Northcote and then Camberwell. Some of the shots are better than others - the city seems to loom more in person than in photos - but together they still give a feel of the different facets of Melbourne from the suburbs.

I may as well reference two more images while at it. The view of the City from the Botanic Gardens is an amazing contrast of nature (albeit in cultivated form) framing a marvel of technology (the modern city skyline). And finally seeing the City from within one of its many narrow lanes. My home is now in Canberra but Melbourne is still my hometown and this post is just a quick dedication to it.