Lazy Luddite Log


Dumber Clumps

Some month ago I presented a new and simpler form of my ‘Clumps’ analysis of political parties for the 2018 Victorian State Election on Facebook. However I forgot to also blog it so I'm adding it here now...

I’m adapting my Clumps for the use of progressive voters in the 2018 Victorian State Election Legislative Council region of Southern Metropolitan. I’m also abandoning my rather complex ideological model for something that better fits the spirit of the age.

What punters ask is simply ‘are they on my side?’ I can answer by sorting all the parties into just three clumps named (1) Yes (2) Maybe (3) No.

Another way to look at these clumps is by reference to the two major parties: (1) Better Than Labor (2) Between Labor And Liberal / National (3) Worse Than Liberal / National.

I will provide short descriptions of parties to help in the task of arranging preferences within (or indeed across) my three clumps.

In preparing for this I have made a study of the candidates via Wikipedia, party websites and media reports. I overlook the preference recommendations of parties because such decisions are often strategic rather than political.

If you live in one of the other seven Legislative Council regions you will need to do your own research (but will see many of these same names).

The Victorian Legislative Council election uses non-exhaustive preferential voting. If you choose to go below the line you only need to vote for five candidates by filling in the numbers 1 to 5. Just my ‘Yes’ clump will provide more than five candidates for anyone wishing to follow my advice.

Within each clump I present the candidates in alphabetical order.


Australian Greens - The Greens are the most successful progressive party in Australia with a strong presence at all levels of representation. They have grown into an effective force for reform, with five members in the Legislative Council and another three in the Legislative Assembly.

Fiona Patten’s Reason Party - The Sex Party changed its name to Reason to more fully reflect its positions on civil rights, personal autonomy, harm-minimization, evidence-based debate, a mixed economy and modern culture, all from a secular liberal perspective.

Voluntary Euthanasia Party (Victoria) - This issue-specific group has the aim of improving palliative care and preserving death-with-dignity for the terminally ill in this state.


Animal Justice Party - This party focuses on animal liberation and veganism. I’m cool with much of what they say except for the banning of kangaroo consumption – skippy is too tasty.

Derryn Hinch’s Justice Party - Normally one expects ‘law and order’ candidates to be conservative but this party is more difficult to box. Some would argue that they are moderates because ‘the pendulum has swung too far’ on issues of criminal justice. On a host of other issues it almost looks like Hinch just tosses a coin to make a decision.

Health Australia Party - This party focuses on, well, health issues and on the surface look fine. But if you take a closer look you find a connection with alternative medicine and New Age beliefs. Take only as recommended.

Hudson 4NV - Josh Hudson of Tatura is a rural independent who has decided he will improve his profile if he has a party name and fellow candidates across the state. His priority is for Northern Victoria and he name-drops respected independents (at both state and federal levels) from that region. His proposals seem fine for his electorate but I’m voting in Southern Metro you cheeky bastard!

Sustainable Australia – This party seems to think that population within our borders is the only issue that defines environmental problems, rather than the consumption patterns of persons and industry worldwide. Honestly, there are better environmentalists on this list.

Transport Matters – This ticket was started by taxi drivers challenged by the advent of ride-sharing schemes. They have quickly developed a platform for the expansion of both private and public transport infrastructure. Apparently taxi drivers are in a prime position to talk passengers into voting for this party, so be prepared if you take a taxi in the next few weeks.

Victorian Socialists – This electoral alliance has a large program intended to attract working class votes. On many isolated issues I agree with them but I cannot overlook the Marxist-Leninist doctrine of violent revolution that motivates key affiliates of this alliance. It’s also difficult to forget how annoyingly domineering they can be within activist and student movements.


Aussie Battler Party – What a dodgy name! I took a gander and saw the writings of an erratic thinker who is frustrated with contemporary mores, bureaucracy, corporations and the world beyond our shores. I reckon sometimes private citizens should just stay that way and let others take care of public life.

Australian Country Party - This party is for former Nationals who wish to be more economically protectionist and culturally isolationist than the Coalition will let them. Rural-identifying yet moderate voters would be better off finding another party to support.

Australian Liberty Alliance - These jerks talk the libertarian talk while walking a militant xenophobic path. Of my own free will I declare them the worst party in this election.

Labour DLP - The Democratic Labour Party is morally conservative and economically protectionist. Its members tend to be drawn from the working class Roman Catholic community.

Liberal Democrats - These libertarians with a deceptive party name want to minimize public sector involvement in all aspects of life except legal defense of person and property. In advocating for such they enjoy dismissing the needs of everyone along the way.

Shooters Fishers & Farmers Vic - These hoons want to hunt and fish across the state. Are pretty conservative while wishing to limit further natural conservation.

And this same week I have blogged a similar advice column for the 2019 Federal Election...



  • I was considering naming these three clumps as 'the good, the bad and the iffy' (except that the iffy are in between the good and the bad).

    By Blogger Daniel, At 28 April, 2019  

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