Lazy Luddite Log

23.3.16

SF Sketches

I have taken weeks to finalize the content of an entry I supposedly published last month. To compensate for that I'm now sharing something I produced a while ago but only shared with a select few. The revues that happen at MonUCS camps provide an chance to present all sorts of things to an open-minded audience. In this case I got a few fellow choristers to act roles in my summary of the changes in cinematic science fiction since the 50s. I present it now for the consumption of whomever...

SF Revue Act

Narrator: I'm a fan of science fiction in the form of novels, television shows and films. In this short set of scenes we will present to you some changes that SF movies have undergone since the mid Twentieth Century.

* * * * *

Narrator: In the 1950s SF movies were very earnest and the acting was rather wooden...

1950s (almost monotone American accents)

General: Mr President, the aliens are invading and our weapons do nothing to their saucers.

President: General, is there anything we can do to save the Earth?

Narrator: Or, in more enlightened movies...

Saucer Commander: Star Marshal, the humans have perfected the Atom Bomb. They seem destined to destroy one another.

Star Marshal: Saucer Commander, is there anything we can do to save the Earth?

* * * * *

Narrator: In the 60s things became more wild, zany and fun...

1960s (Professor has German mad scientist accent while Jamie talks like a hippy)

Professor: Jamie The Surfing Hippy!

Jamie: Yes, Professor?

Professor: The alien invasion has begun!

Jamie: What will they do to us, Professor?

Professor: They plan to fire their Attractor Ray on our cities!

Jamie: Zowee! What will that do?

Professor: It will make us all want to have the sex with each other!

Jamie: That’s heavy! Is there any way to stop them?

Professor: Why would we wanna stop them! *waggles eyebrows*

* * * * *

Narrator: In the 70s things were both serious and emotional...

1970s (increasingly brooding delivery, one accent American, the other British)

Young Woman: I'm sick of wearing identical while jumpsuits.

Young Man: I'm sick of looped elevator music.

Young Woman: I tire of this oppressive and sterile culture we live in.

Young Man: I wish I could see the stars but they are obscured behind this massive dome that protects us from the radiation of the last war.

Young Woman: If only aliens had invaded in the Twentieth Century, then none of this would have happened...

* * * * *

Narrator: In the 80s a lot more gritty action was injected into the mix...

1980s (lots of yelling and machine gun vocal effects, one accent American, one other accent of your choice)

Space Marine #1: The aliens are coming at us from all directions!

Space Marine #2: Look how many of them there are!

Space Marine #1: They're ugly bastards, aren't they!

Space Marine #2: Yep. Ack! Screw this machine gun!

Space Marine #1: What’s the matter with it?

Space Marine #2: This is the future! I should have a kick-arse laser right about now!

Space Marine #1: Your targeting sights are a laser...

Space Marine #2: (looks at comrade with an expression that says "SRSLY"...)

* * * * *

Narrator: In the 90s things still looked gritty but were they more or less realistic?

1990s (ponderous, wanky delivery, with mentor talking like a mystic of some sort)

Student: Look, mentor, aliens are approaching us!

Mentor: Ah, student, but are they aliens, or simply the sense impressions of aliens inserted into our synaptic passageways?

Student: You mean this could all be a virtual reality simulation?

Mentor: It could, and the truth may be even more shocking and sinister!

Student: So, what if you are a synaptic phantom too?

Mentor: My dear student, I am most definitely real. You, however, could be an illusion...

Student: Well then you won't mind if I do this... *gives Chinese Burn or similar jesting violence*

* * * * *

Narrator: Finally we come to the Twenty First Century, in which anything is as realistic as you want it to be...

2000s (excited and lively, any accents you want)

Human Hero: Hey robot buddy, look how realistic my power armour is!

Robot Buddy: Indeed, human hero, it is as if you are really wearing it.

Human Hero: I'm also super impressed at how realistically you move for something made of pixels.

Robot Buddy: Yes, it is thanks to Motion Capture from a celebrity break-dancer who does one mean robot walk.

Human Hero: Sweet. Hey, but look at this kick-arse cyber-attachment!

Narrator: *inserts sound and visual effects*

Robot Buddy: That is a most impressive plasma-charged laser!

Human Hero: Yes, and it even has an Attractor Ray setting... *waggles eyebrows*

Thanks to Alex and Ben who played the various roles and who did it with humour and verve.

Cross-posted here.

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